WHAT A JERK!

A man was at a grave yard.

He began to moan "Why did you die oh why did you have to die?"

A passer by knelt down next to the man and said "Was this person very close to you?"

"No, actually i never met him!" replied the man
"Why are you moaning then?" asked the passer-by coursously.
"He was my wife's first husband!"

OBVIOUS

This man was talking to a group of men at a bar and he said, "In my house I am the boss, I say when the laundry is done and when the cooking is made and when the dishes are washed." 
One of the guys at the table said, "How long have you been married?" 
The man says, "Oh I'm not married I'm single!"

THAT IS NOT FAIR.

A french fry walks into the bar and says to the bartender "Hay , could I get a beer please" 
The barthened looks at him shacking his head and say "No, we don't serve food here"

FUNNY HEADLINE - Tired Gay succumbs to Dix in 200 meters

SMART KIDS

One day two boys were walking through the woods when the boys come upon some rabbit droppings.

"Whats that?" says the first boy.

"There smart pills." says the second boy, "If you eat them you become smarter."

So the first boy picks one up and eats it. Then quickly spits it back out and yells "IT TASTE LIKE SHIT!"

"See your getting smater already." replied the second boy.

FISH SAID WHAT?

What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?

DAMN!

TENNIS IS A SISSY SPORT.