Saturday, April 14, 2012

What a good son!!

An old farmer wrote a letter 2 his innocent son in prison:
"This year I'm unable 2 plant potatoes because I can't dig the ground. I know if u were here u would've helped me."
Son Replied: "U idiot, don't dig the ground, I hid the guns there." 
Police read the letter, next day the ground was dug by the police, searched for guns but nothing was found. 
Son wrote again: "now plant your potatoes dad, its the best I could do from here.
"Where there's a Will, there's a Way"

Sunday, April 8, 2012


A Sunday school teacher asked the children in her class, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would I get into Heaven?"
"No!" the children all answered.
"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into Heaven?"
Again the answer was "No!"
"Well", she continued, "then how can I get into Heaven?"
A five-year-old boy shouted out, "You gotta be dead!"

Monday, April 2, 2012


Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I". 
Student: I is the... 
Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I". 
Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

Sunday, April 1, 2012


The policeman had the bar under surveillance a few minutes before closing time, so he could see who comes out drunk.
The first one out the door at 2:00 o'clock weaved down the sidewalk, then fell on the curb. Sluggishly got up, then tried his keys in five cars before finding his own car.
Once inside his car, he fumbled with his keys for 2 or 3 minutes.
Meanwhile, all the club patrons had gotten into their cars and driven away, leaving this one fellow quite alone in the parking lot.
Finally, he got his car started and began to very slowly drive away.
Immediately, the police car was behind him with lights flashing.
The policeman asked the man to take a breathalyser test, to which he readily agreed.
When the reading was 0.0%, the policeman said, "How can this be?"
To which the man replied, "Because tonight, I'm the designated decoy."