HEHE!

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said: "Now, students, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face." 

"Yes, sir," the boys said. 

"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" 

A little fellow shouted, "'It's because yer feet ain't empty."

"Take a pencil and paper," the teacher said, "and write an essay with the title 'If I Were a Millionaire' "

Everyone but Little Johnny, who leaned back with arms folded, began to write furiously.

"What's the matter," the teacher asked. "Why don't you begin?"

"I'm waiting for my secretary," he replied.

YO MAMA'S SO FAT

Yo mama's so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint roller!

Computer Joke

Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Desktop."

Customer: "Ok."

Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No."

Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No."

Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"

Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote click'."

SMART KID

A college pizza delivery boy arrived at the house of Larry Johnson. He delivered the pizza to his trailer. After giving it to him, Larry asked: "What is the usual tip?"

"Well," replied the youth, "this is my first trip here, but the other guys say if I get a quarter out of you, I'll be doing great." "Is that so?" snorted Larry. "Well, just to show them how wrong they are, here's five dollars."

"Thanks," replied the youth, "I'll put this in my school fund."

"What are you studying in school?" asked Larry.

The lad smiled and said: "Applied psychology."

YOU KNOW YOU ARE A INTERNET JUNKIE WHEN:

When asked for your address, your answer begins with http:// 

Instead of calling you to dinner, your spouse sends e-mail.

You chat with your fingers, not your mouth. 

You use Netscape 4.72, and you check every week whether version 4.73 was released.

You know the difference between Java and Javascript.

Most of your friends have an @ in their names.

In order to watch CNN you move to www.cnn.com

On your business card the e-mail appears before the phone number.

You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.com

You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.

You can perfectly imitate the sound pattern of your modem connecting to your ISP.

You can think of nineteen keystroke symbols that are far more clever than :-).

You are told about a new program, and you are disappointed to find that it is a TV program.

Not only do you check your email more often than your paper mail, but you remember your network address faster than your postal one.

You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop to check your e-mail on the way back to bed.

Yo mama

Yo mama's so fat she fell in love and broke it!